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December 31, 2005
Where have you gone, dancing Elmo?
If you think the culture war is a fabrication or a Bill O'Reilly fantasy, you may believe it's a-okay for your 5 year-old daughter (or son) to play with Bratz dolls. You probably also don't care for James Lileks, who writes:
Bratz are the main reason I do not keep a supply of bricks around the house, because everytime the commercials come on I wish to pitch something kiln-fired through the screen so hard it beans the toy exec who greenlighted these hootchie toys. The Baby Bratz are as bad as you can imagine: "Bottles with Bling." Judas on a stick, why not just refit the Bratz so they have Real Oozing Gonorreal Flow Action?
"They know how to flaunt it, and they're keeping it real in the crib."
What exactly is the penalty for failing to keep it real in the crib? Someone busts a cap in yo Pamper? I know I am old and so out of step it's a wonder I don't just appear as an indistinct smear, but was it really necessary to push the Age of Sultry Hussyism down to the infant stage? And who, exactly, are the Babyz flaunting it for? Are we going to see a commercial with Elmo in sunglasses, sitting with his legs sprawled, spanking some pliant Babyz with one hand while gumming down some mashed crack?
Yesterday, Kos ridiculed William Safire, saying "There are few better way to show your age than to whine about changes in language." Kos, being the numnut he is, would probably say the same about Lilek's Bratz commentary. Regardless, toddler dolls wearing thongs, whether thanks to mischief or MGA's design, slouches towards child pornography. And as the saying goes, a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged, so it's probably fair to wonder whether Kos, now that he's spawned, would dismiss Lileks' points as Safirian stodginess. For that matter, what does Code Pink, who ridiculously urged parents to avoid "war toys" this Christmas, think of the Bratz ho dolls? Preferable to GI Joe?
Posted by bill at December 31, 2005 08:42 AM
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