« Morning Blend - Friday, September 16, 2005 | Main | »
September 16, 2005
At least one case of poison ivy confirmed in New York City; Officials on Alert
New York City health officials today announced they have confirmed at least one case of a non-lethal form of poison ivy, in Manhattan. The victim, they said, is a 30 year-old white male who contracted the disease last weekend while tromping through suburban brush, his feet clad only in flip-flops. Reportedly, the victim's mistake was to meander into a backyard of a reasonably priced condominium (2 full baths, basement, washer/dryer) which was, they said, "not too brite."
Although the hapless victim, whom health authorities are calling "Bill L.," wishes to remain anonymous, CJ scored a brief sit-down with Bill L as he sat, luxuriating in Calamine lotion, in his midtown offices.
"I can't believe this is happening to me," he whined. "I haven't had poison ivy since 9th grade band camp."
Bill L described the disease's merciless march across his extremities. "First it was a few bumps on the inside of my heel," he told CJ. "Then my right big toe went down like a French platoon under somewhat heavy fire, and I knew I was in trouble." This enemy operated under cover of harmlessness, he explained -- Bill L thought at first he only had a few mosquito bites. "But I was wrong," he ruminates. "For years I knew this could happen, and I didn't do anything to prepare."
The battle is joined. Fortunately, Bill L said he's never lost at the board game "Risk" and he's confident that he can re-take most of the territory claimed by the disease. "I've had to dispatch Calamine reserves to my ankles, just in case. Big Toe might be a goner, though." This, he pointed out, will be a long, arduous fight for him and his derm.
Does Bill L feel that the response was compromised by poor leadership? "I don't think so," he told CJ. "I felt the response was adequate at all levels. My feet might've requested assistance sooner, but at the time I don't think anyone anticipated the bumps would spread."
Posted by bill at September 16, 2005 08:22 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.citizen-journal.net/cgi-bin/mt-316/mt-tb.cgi/457
